Conversations at Midnight Intro: Exploring My Daughters' Biblical Questions

The best discussions with teenagers happen at midnight. These form the framework for this series of blogs. A project I’ve held in my heart for many years, the idea emerged during my daughters’ high school years. Night after night, we questioned: Why did Jacob have multiple wives? What is a concubine? Why do women submit to their husbands? How accurate are Bible translations? What losses have women incurred from poor interpretations of ancient texts? How has culture distorted our understanding of the Bible? 

Since those initial conversations, many insightful books have circled the same question: Are women permitted to serve as pastors or elders? This discussion is important, especially considering most churchgoers throughout history have been women, but I find it incomplete. I believe women need something expansive—a safe place to wrestle through a myriad of issues. Could someone create a one-stop resource for brave Bible readers who struggle with passages that confuse or offend them? 

As my daughters graduated, married, and began families of their own, conversations shifted. Theology gave way to the holy mysteries of parenthood. How do you get a baby to sleep through the night? How do you teach a toddler to share? Doubt crept in. I am not a theologian, nor am I a scholar of Greek or Hebrew. Why would I tackle matters heavy with controversy? 

There were further obstacles on our horizon. 

Just months before COVID-19 became a global pandemic, my husband, Larry, had open-heart surgery. On a January morning in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan—minus 56 degrees Celsius with the wind chill—he walked half a kilometre from the parking lot to his workplace. The shock of the frigid air resulted in a supporting heart muscle being torn to shreds. He would need open-heart surgery. 

Canada’s extended medical wait stretched beyond that summer to the fall. It would be nine gruelling months before a surgeon became available; Larry weakened daily. When he’d check in with his nurse, she gave one instruction: if you have a heart attack, go to the emergency room. We questioned whether he would survive the wait, let alone a coronary thrombosis. When a surgeon finally became available, he inserted a ring to repair the damaged valve and performed three bypasses. Recovery was difficult because of other underlying health issues. 

Sharing the pastoral load, we served together through the quiet, uncertain days and the pandemic, retiring in 2022. After the births of two more grandchildren, we moved west and immersed ourselves in our new roles as Nana and Poppa. Larry began work in victim services out of the RCMP, while I rented commercial space to open a music school. We also completed training in Immanuel Practicum, which had the side benefit of helping us heal from some tough ministry years. I will refer to some of my Immanuel experiences in chapters to come. 

This writing project took several years to resurface. The nudge came as I read a report from the Barna Research Group: in 2025, men outpaced women in church attendance by 43% to 36%—a dramatic reversal from the early 2000s. Historically, women’s church attendance has far surpassed men’s. Yet even amid renewed spiritual interest among Millennials and Gen Z across North America, as young men returned to church, more women left. This gap is the largest ever recorded. 

This raises an uncomfortable question: Why are women leaving the church? 

Societal problems and deconstructionism have left our doors wide open. At the core of many sincere seekers lie these questions: What is God’s heart toward women and the vulnerable? Has Christian teaching perpetuated their abuse? Many rise to defend the cause of the weak, but the church’s reticence to stand with them has created wounds, bleeding out our young justice warriors. Those who’ve left often carry broken hearts with them. 

With a gray crown and laugh lines that hint I’ve lived long enough to know better, I feel driven to re-open these conversations. There’s an unprecedented need to battle for the hearts of women today. Yet I have great hope. 

What could be the outcome if our young protectors discovered God's word on these matters? I envision resilient hearts full of wisdom, empowered to walk boldly with compassion. Imagine a fresh wave of Catherine and Evangeline Booths. This is the harvest before us—if we will pursue it. 

I have a husband who encourages the gifts within me. Though we’ve had disagreements, as all couples do, they’ve never crossed the line into abuse. Almost forty years of marriage has taught us that elevating women does not require diminishing men, and vice versa. We are gifts to one another. 

I do, however, identify women who have experienced doubt in their faith. Religion often overlooks or even exploits females. My experience echoes this, as do many from my generation. Here lies the difference: today’s justice-minded women will not accept what previous generations tolerated or feared confronting. If we continue to shrink back, bury the past, or refuse to engage lovingly, they will continue to search elsewhere for safer pastures. 

Considering these circumstances, would you join me on a journey of studies that attempt to build that “one-stop resource”? We’ll look at the foundations of our faith to explore what biblical writers had to say about some of today’s most controversial topics: human trafficking, slavery, infanticide, patriarchy, submission, ordination, virginity, and the sanctity of life. 

As we wade through ancient texts, keep in mind that values shaped thousands of years ago rarely fit a modern worldview. We may need to relinquish previous assumptions to learn something new. Nuances in original translations may be elusive, but we have access to rich study tools, including: 

● Word studies in Hebrew and Greek 

● The broader context of Scripture 

● Historical background—who, what, where, when, and how 

● Literary forms such as poetry, metaphor, hyperbole, and law 

● Insights from scholars of the original languages 

● Perspectives from cultures that still resemble the biblical world 

Before we embark, let’s invite the Holy Spirit to guide us. Jesus promised to send His Spirit, who would counsel and teach us (John 14:26). Just as a surgeon helped repair Larry’s heart, the Spirit can heal us through His application of truth. 

Our goal is straightforward: the discovery of God’s intentions for women. I can’t wait to see what the Holy Spirit reveals. 

Onward and upward, 

Becky Thomas